Anger Management 03/29/2012
One of the not-so-nice side effects of pregnancy hormones has been my ability to go from zero to irate in 2.2 seconds. For the most part, I’ve been able to keep a lid on my volatile emotions, mainly by listening to the little voice inside me telling me that if it weren’t for the fact that I’m pregnant, I most likely wouldn’t even care about what was making me mad in the first place. I can typically rationalize my blood pressure down from the precipice and let whatever it is go without “losing my cool.”
I had had a horrid night’s sleep, followed by a day at work full of annoyances in all shapes and sizes. In addition, sitting for 8 hours in an office chair does no favors for my already incredibly achey body. The building management can’t seem to get the temperature right in our office building, so I was sticky with sweat, exhausted, in pain, and annoyed even before boarding the infamous BART train to head home. After a ride that made 38 minutes seem like forever (maybe because I spent it smushed between the wall and a man who was so large I probably should have just let him have two seats), I decided to stop at Safeway on the way home to pick up some much deserved iced tea.
I walked up to the store only to be approached by a man looking for signatures for his petition. Anyone who knows me knows that, political science nerd that I am, I’m a sucker for petitions and 95% of the time I will stand and listen to you soapbox. If I agree, I’ll sign! If I disagree, I’ll explain to you why, and I won’t sign. I’ve even been known to collect signatures for my own petitions from time to time. But yesterday was just not a good day for me to stand in the sun in my ridiculously hot outfit on my aching feet, so I politely smiled at the man and said “Not right now, I’m sorry.”
He copped an attitude and muttered “well that’s fine, I’m used to it. No one can be bothered to help anyone anymore.”
Who the hell are you?! You don’t know me! You don’t know where I’ve been for the past 8 hours, who I’ve been helping secure venture financing for their start up businesses. You don’t know the countries where I’ve travelled to help mentor children of military families, or to help teach street children, or to play with HIV positive orphans, or to build homeless children houses. You don’t know the disabled man whose family’s house I cleaned. You don’t know what mother I held while she breathed her dying breath. It’s pretty freaking obvious by my distended belly that there’s at least ONE human being I’m lending a pretty freaking HUGE helping hand to right now.
That’s a risk you take standing outside, imposing on peoples’ time, subjecting them to your opinion. That’s a risk you take picking, out of all the people walking into Safeway, the pregnant woman who is obviously walking in pain. Do you purposefully select the weakest member of the herd? If that’s how you treated everyone you approached yesterday, I’m not the least bit surprised that you were turned down so often.
How DARE you pass judgement on me like that. How dare you pass judgment on anyone like that. Shame on you.
Unfortunately, these words spewed out of my mouth only once I had returned home. Just once I wish I had the guts to say aloud what goes on in my head.